Fight Fight Fight Everythings a Fight

When will this end? It is another week before we can vote and I just can't stand the t.v ads or the phone calls. Nobody is playing nice in the sand box. A dear friend flew from her home in Mass. to San Fransisco to help fight the Prop 8 madness going on there. I hope she is victorious because it just makes me angry to think that time and money has to be wasted on something that should be a given. The pressure is on and I am ready to explode.

And we go forward doing what we do every day. Taking care of our families and trying to be grateful for all we have even in the hard trying time. Hoping that next Tuesday will turn the corner we all so desperately need to live on.

Winter is here and the cold has arrived making everything seem more desperate. Bills to pay, heat to provide, doctors bills. How do people do it without insurance? We have it and can't afford the copay to go to the doctor.

I have an interview next week and hopefully my ankle will be healed enough to make a good impression and start subbing again next week. It definitely wasn't a good week for my body to fall apart. I think I will invest in duct tape futures haha.

But it all comes back to how very very lucky we are to have a whole family. We may be a little screwy but we are okay. As much as my children fight, and that is every chance they get, when the going gets tough their true colors shine through. Ian will be coming home this weekend to surprise his sister and cheer her on at counties for swimming and spend some quality time with his father who like me is ready to rip like paper, his analogy, which is right on the mark. He has the weight of the world on his shoulders and I am trying not to add to it.

We had a conversation the other morning and I stated that we are damn lucky. We love each other madly after almost 19 years and I don't know about him but I can't even imagine and don't want to imagine my life without him. And our kids are "wonderful" (sorry Sara about the quotation marks) and relatively safe and happy.

Case in point is the 16 yr old friend of Sara's that has been living with us for over 2 months now. Her parents kicked her out and it is a crazy story. She is a good kid. She is a teenage girl. Her parents are immature idiots. I would have been pounding down the door of the place my 16 yr old daughter was staying the next day after she left and try to work things out and get her home. They have called her maybe 5 times and wrote her a letter all just to remind her it was all her fault and she needs to fix it. It just breaks my heart so for now she is my other daughter and is welcome to stay as long as she needs to. Anybody can give birth not everybody deserves to be parents and unfortunately they are and the kids suffers. People are amazed we took her in and that in itself scares me. Why wouldn't I.

Well its time to put more Ice on the ankle gee just what I want to do my feet already feel like ice and get ready for another day ahead and closer to the end of this madness. I apologize for my rambling but I haven't written in a while and had a lot of random thoughts.

Love and safety to all.

ttfn

She's givin up on Men and moving on to Llama's

We went to visit Ian yesterday to take him a

few things like winter coat and boots. Gramma

came along to visit and see where her oldest

grandson is going to school. We loaded up the

needed items plus a few extras like gramma's

homemade apple pie, jumped in the car, with

Sara driving, and went to see Ian.

Sara wants to get her licence soon. She has been

getting in a lot of practice and the drive to

Fredonia was a perfect mix of traffic situations

to test her skills plus it was raining. I make a bad

passenger but survived the trip for the most part.

I tactfully took over torwards the end of each trip

just to get to our destination sooner. She is taking

her 5 hour course tomorrow afternoon and it won't

be long before she is legal. I am not sure how I feel

about it but it was bound to happen. Ian never pushed

to drive or get his licence but no such luck with the

girl here.

I keep trying to think of the positives that she can

do some of the driving around I do and give me more

time to do things I want to. Its not quite totally work-

ing yet but give it time.

Well its a beautiful day and I am off to carve pumpkins

and rake leaves.

ttfn

Did I Mention Lately that I Hate Football!!!!!!!!!

Well it finally happened. I got the call from Sean's football coach on Wednesday that only happens if they are afraid something is serious enough to check out. I tried to remain calm till I got through the doctor etc. and I did a really good job the only thing I did was keep repeating I really dislike football. Thank goodness it was just a bad case of whiplash but what will happen next time. Of course all Sean could think of is that he was missing the game the next day and might not be able to play in the last game on Wednesday. Plus how much pain he was in. Well its Sunday and he is feeling better and its off to the doctor tomorrow to get cleared for the last 2 practices and the last game of the year. I am thinking the schools should have any and all the equipment to keep our kids safe yet they don't. I need to go out and get him a angel collar so not only he is protected but I feel better about knowing I am doing everything I can to protect him. Can I afford to do this no but you gotta do what you gotta do. So for now he is whole and able to walk around and give me a hug but its going to make it even that much harder for me to be as calmly accepting of his choice of sports. Help......

ttfn

Football season is over for the modified.
All in all I think Megan really enjoyed it.
The team treated her, for the most part,
as one of the guys and all ended well. I
was apprehensive at first about her
embarking on a male dominated sport
but the coachs made the experience an
enjoyable one and treated her well. I of
course was afraid of the male ego, which
I did get from some of the fathers of the
other players, but the coaches showed me
that men can be fair and give the girl a
chance. I guess I will have to change my
generalization about male chauvinist pigs.
Dave recorded a game I miss and I finally
got a chance to she the girl in action. It was
probably her one and only tackle but she
made it count. I was just sorry I missed it.

So we are on to the next modified season and
soon the winter sports will begin for the high
schoolers. Never a dull moment thank goodness.

ttfn

Good Nite Sox

no more baseball this year the fat lady sang last night. they had no more snap crackle pop left. sadness reigns rest and come back strong next year.

Red Sox

They did it again. They won another game. They should be the poster team for amazing come backs. Even if they don't win tonight they still prove that it ain't over till the fat lady sings and I am not singing yet.

GO SOX

ttfn

I went back to high school today. It was definitely an interesting experience for me. I subbed as an aide and her job is to go to these classes and take notes and fill in worksheets so later they can help the kids in the resource room with homework if need be. It has been 20 some odd years since I took notes in school of any kind. Biology wasn’t to bad I was familiar with it enough to understand what was going on. English wasn’t to bad either because they were watching a movie the down side is it was interesting and I wanted to see it all. Law was gruesome because they were learning about defending a person with an insanity plea. So they used cases like John Gacy, Jeffrey Dalmer, & Charles Manson. Creepy. Chemistry was way beyond my skills and I just hope I wrote down the answers correctly and don’t screw anybody up. But my favorite class was the economics class. The teacher looked like Jerry Garsia from the Grateful Dead. He was laid back and had funny stories to tell. Good thing because the subject matter was rather boring.

Some one told me that if I were to go back to school my perspective would be totally different and it would be a completely different experience. I believe them now. I would definitely have to work on my note taking skills and such but I think if I can find the time and money I might just get my feet wet.

But for now my brain hurts and I am pooped I am not 17 anymore. Hey no cracks from the peanut gallery.

And the major humor for the day was the cartoon on the podium I was sitting in front of. I almost fell out of my chair laughing.
It was a picture of a kitten being chased by these monster type things and under it it said: “Every time you vote republican god kills a kitten, think of the kittens”.

ttfn

Homecoming Dance

Its the stud muffin and his date for the dance

Saturday night. He was seen dancing most of

the night in the middle of a large group of young

ladies but slow danced mostly with his date. Sean

had a great time and enjoyed the evening with

friends, music, and dancing. I got to chaperon

the dance and it was beautiful. The kids went all

out with getting dressed up and I didn't even

recognize some of them when I checked them in.

And Yes that is Sara. Her date decided to go with

some one else. His loss. So she hooked up with her

friend who happened to be in the sophomore court

to go to the dance with. Her tux matched Sara's

shoes so I guess it was meant to be. Sara suffered

through the dance and left early. But while she was

there she was definitely the most beautiful one.

No bias there from this writer.

I am so glad they got the throw back genes.

ttfn

Sick

I am not going to read the news anymore. It is beyond out of control. Between the economy, which I live on a daily basis so I don't need to read about it, and the war, which have you noticed has taken a big back seat to the election and our economy, I don't sleep, didn't sleep well as it is.

This rape of our country by the financial institutions is now taking casualties. So now they are not only not having to take responsibility for the oops money gone problem but add murder to that which I doubt will bother them anymore than the other. We have ninety year old ladies shooting themselves just before being evicted from a home they have lived in for 40 odd years and now a whole families future is ended because the father couldn't face the future as it was and decided to take his 3 kids, wife, and mother in law with him.

Usually when things like that happen I can't even fathom how someone could get to that point. I have been to the edge and back but never that far. The scary thing about these situations is I can see how it could happen. Live the dream, die the dream.

So as the "bailout" band aid is applied and things don't change and only get worse don't be surprise when the death toll exceeds that of the war. We should have been protecting things closer to home sooner. Thanks Washington for taking such fucking good care of us.

Vote, Vote, Vote, remove the boobs. Just try not to replace them with implants.

ttfn

just a quicky

Just wanted to do at least a Picture update.

The weekend was totally crazy and then

taking Ian back to school Sunday night.....

I will write later but here are some of the

pictures from the weekend.

The Junior Crew Dressed to match the float

The finished Head of Oz

The lollipop Girls all popped out at the end

of the parade.

The winning float. How do you compete against

horses.

ttfn

My day started with the tour of "the factory". Not so good memories from the past and not warm fuzzy feelings for the future. But what is one to do. I then came home and started to create, using my artsy crafty skills. It helped to pull me out of the OMG reality fog I started my day in. I created a head out of chicken wire and paper. Its for the sophomore float for homecoming. I also made a black and red tornado but they said the class already had made one and wasn't sure if they could use it. Oh well I will take it to the game if they don't .

Every year Sara's class comes up with these outrageous ideas which wouldn't be half bad if they didn't start building the float only 4 days before the parade. And being the perfectionist that she is she has to do it big and fabulous nothing less. So this year it is Wizard of Oz and the floating head of the fake wizard she has taken on. Yea right when and how between school and swimming? So I built it she painted it. It was fabulous of course. This all happened before her swim meet and after school. Then onto working on the float and the big bond fire and dance. I will post pictures of the finished product hopefully tomorrow night.

Home finally at 10:30pm wet and cold I find out that the college boy is smashed off his ass and its Thursday. He promised to keep the drinking only on the weekend. He broke that promise tonight. We will be having a discussion when I pick him up tomorrow to bring him home for homecoming.

I know some of it is the rejection he is feeling with the swim team and that makes me want to ream that coach even more. You couldn't ask for a more dedicated team member than Ian. He is a great moral booster and just a great person to have on your team. Everybody keeps telling me welcome to college sports etc. No I don't agree. He didn't give Ian a fair chance to prove himself. Even a new job generally gives you 2 weeks to prove yourself before second guessing a decision unless your a total screw up.

I got a call from my old boss yesterday because she was looking for something and was wondering if I knew where it was. I asked about the position and if she had filled it yet and she hasn't. I may beg for that spot back if I can get it beats the factory and at least its some money coming in on a consistent basis. I don't think I can handle the stress anymore. I hate money more and more each day the more and more I don't have it.

My kids are all some what safe and sound tonight. Everybody still loves me and I get to bring my boy home for the weekend tomorrow. Its a busy fun filled weekend with lots of events going on for homecoming. Parade tomorrow night and football game after. Saturday starts with Megan's football game and she is very excited because big brother will be home to watch it. Then a dance Saturday night which I was asked if I could help chaperon. My kids are mad and threatening to suffocate me in my sleep if I do it. Oh well they will just have to suck it up.

Okay its is time to hit the sack it has been a roller coaster of a day and my pillow is calling my name can you hear it.......Suzy Suzy Suzy zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ttfn