Life without chaos BORING

What would my life be without chaos? BORING!! I would be sleeping my life away I'm pretty sure. I am sitting here trying to think of something to write but am distracted by thoughts of a good friend facing a very hard time in her life. I know because I have been there before, not the exact place, but way to familar. The people pleasing caretaker inside of me wants so badly to make it go away and fix it. She unfortunatly will have to "feel the feelings" which I know she will do because she is a strong woman. Even if she doesn't think so. She is doing what she needs to do to fend off any regrets for the future no matter how painful that may be. She may not know it but she is taking care of herself. She is my hero!! She has been there for me for about 25 years. She has helped me survive the unsurvivable. We don't see each other very often but I know and I hope she knows that no matter what I am here for her. I was never very good at making friends, still have a hard time opening up to new people. I don't have a quanity of close women in my life but the ones that are there are the quality ones. Long lasting ones so if I attach to you be prepared for the long hall. You could accuse me of being picky. But thats just fine because I am blessed with some extraordinary women in my life. I will survive the chaos because I have them to guide me through it if I just remember to ASK.
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Adults haha

I think I will type in the color I feel everyday. Guess what I am feeling? I had this great workshop at work yesterday on win win negotiations. The man was awesome and I learned alot. My favorite quote of his was "everybody isn't out to get me they are out for themselves I just get in the way sometimes". Yep!! Also what are the two main motivators in life? There are only 2 main ones the rest are secondary. Did you guess pain and pleasure? I didn't. But it's so true. And it doesn't nessicarily motivate you in a positive way it can motivate you in a negative way but either way your still motivated. I see people in my life that I thought were not motivated, miserable and won't do anything to change it but if you look at it they are highly motivated people. Ouch my brain hurts I haven't thought that much in years. People automatically think situations,occurances or events lead directly to an emotional response. Not so if you really think about it. This model the speaker showed us shows that an event, situation or circumstance leads to my interpurtation of the event,situation or circumstance. My thinking either consicous or more likely unconsicous about said event or circumstance. Through responsiblity comes freedom, my freedom to determine my own emotional state. You may ask what does that mean. It comes down to the common sense statement that I am in control of my emotions and no one can make me feel any way I don't want to feel. I wish I could just snap my fingers and undo all the behaviors I have learned over the past 45 years that contridict this statement and replace them with that statement. Why is it when we have a revelation or what ever you what to call it instead of saying yeah lets change that now we in stead are so comfy in the poop that it does the opposite we withdraw and don't want to look at it because then our life looks even more poopy. And don't even get me started on emotions. I sometime and lets not lie most times like being around children then adults because the adults are bigger babys then the kids in the emotion department. I am in a situation where I deal with some emotional adults. I am sometimes one of those adults especially when it involes my kids. How do you deal with an "adult" like that. I am hoping that this training I recieved yesterday will help me to be a better negotiator when dealing with these adults in the future and if not the workbook will make a great coaster.
I love my family warts and all just dont expect me to share those warts anymore.
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I am lost for a change

I am sitting here trying to figure out this blog thing. Everybody makes it look so easy and of course it probably is but computers still intimadate me. I use them daily at work but feel stupid when i use them. I need to learn more about them and hopefully that will happen in November.
What else can i say? I am a mother of some very unique individuals. School has just started and so my life as i know it has ended and i have become the taxi, sports fan, and form signer. My son is playing football for the first time this year. I do not care for the sport normally and do not like watching him get smashed and bashed but he is not sitting on the couch eating and growing larger he is out there with his buds and bonding. Still dont like the sport. He broke his wrist in the second week of practice but still wants to play. He had his first game today. They lost terribly. But as a good parent i asked did you play your best and if so you have nothing to be ashamed of no matter what the coaches might say. My daughter on the other hand swims. she had a great first year burned up the pool in 8th grade on varsity swim team. Things this year arent going as well and she is disheartened. What do i say to her? to my son its suck it up cupcake but we always seem to handle our daughters a little different. Gender bias i can hear one of my friends saying right now. I just want her to live this part of her life different from what i experienced so some times i over do or step over the boundries. Im lost with out any direction map or manual. But it always seems to work out inspite of me.