Its official Ian is now an adult. At least that

is what he says. He is no longer a high

schooler and will soon be a college

freshman.

I was looking through photo albums

and the journals I used to write in

when he was little and it seems

like yesterday when he was just

a bald little peanut bouncing in his

jolly jumper with a wooden spoon

in his hand.

It is a new stage for both of us to walk

upon. He is an adult now and I have

to let go and hope that all his father

and I have taught him will help him to

go forward into the "real" world and

stay safe and make good decisions.

And I hope he knows that no matter

what we will always be here

for him.

He jokes saying that I have ruined his

chances of finding a woman to be a

part of his life because I have always

told him he will never find anyone that

can love him as much as I do.

Well its true.

So I will enjoy the "last" summer

with my little boy till he goes off

to make his way in the world.

ttfn

Summer has officially begun.

School was done for the 2

youngest yesterday and

graduation is this Sunday at

2pm. Invest in Kleenex

because Sunday I will increase

their profit margin.

Sara had barely healed

from her spill on her bike

before pulling her next dumb

ass move. I got one of those

pit of the stomach feelings

Saturday night that something

was up. Sure enough when i

checked up on them I found

them not to be where they said

they would be. Big brother and

she attended a party and

drank. Don't know if she got

drunk but her brother did. I

caught him mid party didn't

catch up to her till the next

day. So I am now Nazi mom.

nobody is going anywhere or

doing anything unless it gets my

stamp of approval.

I am dreading August when I

pack Ian up and send him off

to college. If he is making poor

choices now what about then.

My little sister recommended

al-anon. I have seen an amazing

change in both my sister and

brother in California and the one

thing in common is al-anon/AA.

Even though Dave and I don't

drink the family dynamic is still

there to some extend and its like

a bad smell you can't find the source

so you can get rid of it. Hey at this

point I am willing to try anything.

I am very proud of my husband.

He took care of a situation involving

Sara by himself without butting heads

with her and was able to find a way to

bond with his daughter for the first time.

Fingers crossed that its the beginning of

something fantastic.

All I know is I am going to need something

to make it through 4 teenagers. And since

drugs and alcohol are out of the picture....

I am just so bone tired yet I have to find

the life to move forward because there are

a lot of major life changes coming and coming

fast.

So first survive graduation then on to the

party of all parties and me the introvert

it should be fun to watch. But I will have

lots of help especially from my hubby's

side of the family. Have I said yet what

a jewel I found not only in the love of my

life but the people attached to him. And of

course my true blue friends who if it wasn't

for them I wouldn't have even made it this

far.

Pillow calling name. Tomorrow is today.

ttfn

Grey hairs and heartattacks

Okay I am going to ask a
question I ask in here and it
is "Why did we have Children?

Sara gave Sean and I the most
recent fright. She left on her bike
to go down to a friends house and
about 10 minutes later my cell
rings and the call is from her.
I hear my name (mom)
said then nothing
for a minute then just moaning
and groaning. I begin to yell into
the phone for her to talk to me
tell me where she is, what happened.
Nothing just moaning and groaning.
I grab Sean and head down the hill
with him on the phone with Sara and
me driving the route she usually takes.
Long story short we can't find her call
911, cops, EMT show up hospital called
all the while we keep calling her phone
it picks up but no talking from her.
Finally she she picks up and tells me
she had wiped out and walked to her
friends. I apologize to the cops, EMT and
rush to the friends house to find a very
scraped up hurting young lady but alive.

It turned out that her phone dialed my
number and she thought she hung up
but stuck it in her pocket and her ear
piece wasn't in her ear so she couldn't
hear us yelling in the phone. What I was
hearing was the painful walk to her friends
house about 10 blocks away.

She has some ugly scrapes on elbows,
hands and knee and bruises from
tumbling over her bike. She will survive.
Not sure about me lol. At least she
is home bound for a while so I don't
have to worry about where she is for
a few days.

OMG does the fun never stop.

ttfn

THE END AND THE BEGINNING!!!

Today marked the last classes

of school for my oldest. He finished

up his last exams and now just waits

to walk across the stage on the 29th

of June to receive his ticket to the

next stage of his life. He said it is

bitter sweet. He isn't sure how to feel,

me I fell old and sad.

There will be the parties, the trip

to Fredonia to register for his classes

and then the preparing to leave for

his first year of college. I have a feeling

this summer if going to fly faster then

anyone before it. I am just a mess of

emotions and can't separate one from the

other right now.

I need to keep my head above water.

I have to much to do and accomplish

in the next few weeks/months.

Well

I will have more time anyway because

of pretty much losing my job last week.

As of July 1st they are cutting my position

which is already just a little more than

part time to the bare bone. Really helpful

right now with summer camp money due,

swim camp, and preparing for college.

I have just got to keep telling myself

some times you eat the bear and some

times the bear eats you and right now

I have a big bite out of my ass but it will

heal eventually it always does.

All of these moments are suppose

to make one stronger but right

now I am bone tired. I hope

these antidepressants kick in

soon.

Off to take my 5 th trip down the hill

and keep moving one foot in front of

the other.

ttfn

No Fair

They had a fantastic time at Wicked last night. No fair.

I guess when Dave picked them up at

midnight they hit the seat in the car and just

started gushing about how great it was. The

amazing costumes of the emerald city, the

special effect and the music. Megan has

been humming them all day today. She

was so sweet she got me a coffee mug and

a key chain. She was a couple dollars short

to get the cd of the music so she got the other

items for me instead with her birthday money.

It is yet another day of over 90 degree

weather. At least up here on the

hill we have a brisk wind blowing so

it isn't as unbareable as it is in the

village. I am trying to convince myself

its ok to go and mow.

ttfn

Drama The Good The Bad and The Ugly

We have had more drama over the past 2 weeks than any
one person should have to enjoy. And to top it off summer
has decided to come in with a major bang at 101 yesterday
and the same for the rest of the weekend.

My poor 12 year old found out the hard way

how someone you think is your friend can

stab you in the back for no apparent reason.

I am still confused by the whole occurrence

myself, I can just imagine how Meg feels.

One of her "friends" took it upon herself to go

down to the school counselors office to inform

him that not only was Megan a major pothead,

Drank heavily,uses cocaine crack, and has tried

to kill herself on a few occasions, oh and I forgot is

sleeping around.

She has been a busy girl. And I must be totally blind

because she doesn't go anywhere very often that isn't

supervised or I am there. The school has had a lot of

problems with the 6th grade girls this year I guess and

poor Megan has ended up being one of the victims.

There were phone calls and meetings and assemblies to

address the problems but I still can;t explain to her why.

Why my daughter had to defend herself in the counselors

office by offering to pee in a cup to prove her innocence.

Can you tell her dad works in a lab.

The bad was me. I was jealous of my 2 youngest getting the

opportunity to see "Wicked" up in Rochester. Their music

teacher gets these get deals by buying the advanced tickets for

groups and they take buses and are off the the theater.

Sara and Sean got the opportunity to see "Lion King on

stage 2 years ago also so my kids are more theater

cultured then I am. NO FAIR. Can you see my pout and

foot stamp.

The good drama was Thursday night. A play almost
a year in the making was performed. End of last year
the same music teacher mentioned above passed out
scripts for "Guys and Dolls". They practiced when
time allowed this school year and pulled together
and amazing play with 7th and 8th graders. Sean
had a main roll as Sky Masterson (the Marlon Brando
part in the movie for all you old people who remember
it) He never ceases to amaze me. They all did a fabulous
job.

Well I am going to try and get some more sleep before it
gets to much hotter and try to shake this damn virus my
rug rats gave me. Stay cool.

ttfn