HAPPY NEW YEAR PLEASESSSSSSSS

It just over an hour before the New Year begins.
We have worked hard all day doing fixer upper
things and now we are sitting back pigging out
waiting for the ball to drop.

We ended up going to my brothers on Saturday
instead of Thursday. They were ill at his house
so we postponed till Saturday. I believe painful
describes the experience. It was nice to see my
nephew and his daughter and catch up with my
nieces. But beyond that my kids got to see my
mother drunk for the first time and other people
there were rude and overbearing and drunk to
boot. So fun had by all. It makes me appreciate
my husbands family that much more. I definitely
lucked out in the in law department. Don't get me
wrong I love my family, don't like them sometimes,
but I do love them. One at a time is easier to take
then everybody trying to pretend that we are one
big happy family. I don't think I will put myself or
my children through that again to soon. They
are getting older so the things that use to go over
there head is now a big white elephant in the living
room. By me participating in the annual family thing
I am playing along with the make believe and helping them
continue to pretend. Don't want to play the game any-
more.

This Saturday is the hubby's side of the family Christmas.
I have to come up with a sappy card to go with the present
we are giving my mother in law as a group. Each son and
their family had some hand in the present and she will love
it. (Don't want to say just in case she decides to read my
blog.)

I am hoping that we can relax and have fun this
Saturday. We have the appraisal this Friday and
we are hoping that everything goes great and we
are finally on our way to a better financial future.
It will still be rough for a few months but in the
long run it will eventually balance out.

I can't believe it is almost 2008. It is going to be
a year of tears. I can't believe my baby is going
to graduate in June. My daughter will be turning
"sweet" sixteen and will be wanting to get her
drivers licence. Calgon take me away.

Well here is to a happier and less stressful
New Year for one and all. I love you all and
hope your life is full of love and happiness in
the coming year.

ttfn

COLD

People can be so unfeeling and assholes.

Sorry but what happened to me earlier in

the evening I feel that way right now.

Somebody hit and killed a cat. They

drove away leaving the poor thing in the

middle of the road. I saw it on my way home

from the store and just couldn't keep driving.

I had to turn around and pull the poor thing to

the side of the road. I cried all the way home

then called the police to report it and they said

they would take care of it. It was definitely

not something I needed to see or do. The poor

thing.

I should be in bed right now but I am

procrastinating. If I go to bed then I will

wake up and it will be tomorrow and I

will be going over to my brothers for a get

together with my side of the family. Only

fun will be had if my sister gets into it with

my mother. Calgon take me away with maybe

a bottle of wine to go with it.

Can;t keep my eyes open much longer. I did

a lot today. We have a final dead line for the

appraisal. He is coming the 4th. It is the big

push to see how much more we can accomplish

before that. I took advantage of the sun and warm

weather today to try and pick up around the outside

and get some of the porch cleaned off.

Well I am losing the battle so I am off to tuck the

ponies in and try to get some sleep. We are going

to have some fun before by going up early to spend

the gift cards the kids got from "Santa".

ttfn

Vision of sugar plums dance in their heads.
Not Megan's head though. She has been up
since 5am waiting to see what awaits her
under the tree and the ugly teenagers are
still asleep in their beds. I only have this
one child left that still is excited about
Christmas morning. We just got done
making monkey bread together and
singing Christmas carols.

I just read a friends blog and her guest blogger
mentioned about family traditions we
hated while we were growing up but
once they aren't there for the first time
we miss them no matter what. Isn;t that
funny. I never would have thought about
it because I always try to keep a few of
my traditions going and some of my
husbands as well. I hope my children
don't have to many of the omg do we really
have to eat that or do that.

Miss Megan is now impishly awaking her
siblings and father so they can open
presents. I haven't heard any screaming
yet but I am sure there will be. I must go
and remove the monkey bread from the
oven and sit back and watch the children
open their presents from "Santa" and be
thankful I have people in my life that care
about my children and would take good
care of them if anything should ever happen
to me.

Happy Holiday and Happy New Year may
this coming year be kinder and gentler for
one and all.
ttfn

Relatives

Okay so my sister is crazy and I love her
anyway. She drove all the way down
here last night in crappy weather and
braving her overwhelming fear of hitting
a deer to deliver some gifts for my kids to
open on Christmas morning. The kids will
be surprised when they receive something
tomorrow. And I will maybe be able to get out
of bed and not try and hide the day away.
Gotta make the monkey bread it is tradition.

I am once again fighting with a frozen turkey
because I couldn't get it till yesterday. My hubby
will be surprised when he gets up from his nap to
find his parents decided to come down for dinner.
We aren't doing the O'Brien side of Christmas until
Jan. 5th due to schedules. We are going to my brothers
on Thursday and it should be excitement and tension
enough for everyone. Then a game night at Aunt Julies
to top off the week on Saturday. I am hoping my mental
state can survive that much Kelly family in one week.

well I am off to pick up the swimmer from practice.
No rest for them except he gives them Christmas day off.

Peace on earth, Good will toward men.
Happy Christmas.
ttfn

Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus

I do believe in Santa.

There is now light at the

end of the tunnel and I

am pretty sure its not the

express train to hell.

I still won't be able to

give my kids a Christmas

but the new year will find

us better off due to my angel.

My sister. I only had to listen

to her say read the book of Mormon

2 times to boot. That in its self

is a miracle.

I survived another senior night

tonight. I got a little teary on the

way to the meet from work. Then when Ian

was swimming toward us at the end of

the pool. But not as much water came

out of me as I thought would.

He got his first college

acceptance letter

in the mail today so it begins.

It feels good to breath again.

Life still ain't grand but

we are getting there. I wish

my hubby would get up so I can

share the good news.

Happy Holidays to all and

a safe and happy New Year.

ttfn

Done

I am done writing in here for a while.
I have been reading back and its the
same shit different day. I just got done
writing out bills which always gives me
that warm Fuzzy feeling NOT. Trying not
to think about not doing Christmas this year
and how to spend what little I have left on
food. I am just going to dig in and plod to
reserve what sanity I have left.

Here is to a New Year with improvements.
Time to get drunk.

One positive note. Ian's swim team beat their rivals for the first time in 30 some years.
it was a great day. Hoping for more of those in the coming weeks.
ttfn

Taking a break from uncluttering yet another room.

I can not believe how quickly "stuff" piles

up especially in the rooms I don't spend

much time in. I always say after

getting done reaming out the place that

I will be good and keep up with it so it

doesn't ever get that bad again.

Right!!!

Had another last for Ian again last night.

There are so many more than I thought of.

He performed his last year as the friar in

the kings court for the Madrigal Dinner.

It of course will not be a last for me because

I am sure Sean will follow in his brothers foot

steps and be doing it next year. But it will

be the last time I get to chuckle when

Ian tries to make his dancing partner Julie

laugh. She won again this year making Ian

laugh first.

I gave in and set up the fake Christmas tree

Friday night while I was waiting for Sara to call

to be picked up after her indoor track meet.

The cat has already knocked it over twice.

Megan wants to put ornaments on the tree

to make it look more christmas like but I

explained to her that it was just more

things to tempt the cat to play with the

tree. So it just has lights for now.

I said maybe we could make a colorful

paper chain to put around it.

My mother in law came down for the dinner

last night and spent the night. We sat chatting

over waffles this morning about how we both

were not feeling the "Christmas spirit" this

year. I don't want to decorate or think about

Christmas. She is spending her first

Christmas without her mom. We are

quite a pair to draw too. I have been trying

to come up with idea's to make it special

for the kids even though we can't get them

anything material this year.

I still have time and have a few idea's just

need to find the time and energy to do it.

Well I must get back to shoveling the clutter

before I run out of steam.

Anybody want a Cat for Christmas!!!

ttfn

Stress

My daughter wrote a paper for health class on stress. (see below) She asked me to
type it up for her. I think its her counselor and her way of telling me something.
I wish it where this easy. Poof car problem solved, Poof Mortgage problem solved,
Poof money problem solved, POOF stress solved. Christmas is coming but not. Try
and explain that stress.
Will we be moving in the new year? Don't know wish I could say don't care.

I know most of what is going on with me right now is stress but my mind only
thinks about the quick fixes and we don't want to go there. How do you meditate
when you can't even shut your mind off to sleep.

So I take the little things that brighten my day and try to hang onto the love of my family
and friends. Like the laugh Sara gave us all last night when she was trying to decide when
would be the best time for her to take her vow of silence taking that first step toward becoming
Buddhist. Haven't laughed that hard in months. I vote for Christmas vacations and maybe we all
should do it. Or my husband and I window shopping for cheap idea's to fix stuff around here. Spending time with him is little and far between. Being silly doing stomping dances on the front porch.

Today I get to escape into another season of swimming for now and hope tomorrow
we don't find ourselves under a boulder.
ttfn

Health assignment: Stress 12/6/07

Stress happens to everyone. In the demands of the fast pace world we live in it is not out of the ordinary to have too much in our lives. With families, jobs, or perhaps college on our minds it can build up and become a problem. It is important to know how to deal with this overload of stress because it is not just the little pain in your neck or fogged vision, it can worsen and become a major health issue. Over all stress is your body’s reaction to what’s going on around it. Situations can be handled in two different ways, negatively or positively. Stress does not only plague adults but is very common in over burdened teens as well.
For adults’ stress comes mainly from the family bills even there jobs and juggling all of these things can be hard. Most adults today do not know how to deal with stress in the proper fashion. Although teens may be the top stresses in an adult’s life they have a lot of their own stress to deal with. Juggling school, sports, extra activities such as band or an art club can become to much to bear. Along with all these activities to juggle you throw in the fact that they are changing and making decisions that could influence the rest of their lives. With full stacked up lives it may be hard to deal with all the stresses in your life but it is important to find time or even the slightest thing might build up.
The effects of stress put their own burden upon the shoulders of many when stress is not dealt with. Stress can cause both physical and mental effects making it harder to complete every day tasks. Some physical effects are elevated blood pressure that when left untreated can case stroke and kidney disease if left untreated for a long period of time. Chest pain, problems sleeping, upset stomach, and headaches are also common effects of to many stresses. Not only are the physical effects something to worry about but the mental as well. You might feel unable to work, or snap at others, become agitated easily, worry or feel anxious, depressed, helpless or complacent or restless. Most times stress will also interfere with your judgment and ability to make decisions. Over all it is a viscous cycle when left untreated. Stress in the end just creates even more stress.
With busy lives it is hard to find the much-needed time to deal with stress the right way. There are two ways to handle stress. The first way is you can shut down, snap, and give up and by doing this it will only relieve stress for a short period of time before creating more stress in the end. The second way would be taking a second to think things over organizing your day, possibly even take on less in your everyday life. Those are just a few of the ways to go about handling stress. Another way would be exercise, which release endorphins that will better your mood and give you the extra edge you need to get through the day. Then there is meditation, a mental exercise that allows the person to think and focus on calming your self down and relaxing. It helps a person focus and control their mind. Most find this relaxing after a day when they where unable to think about anything other than the task at hand.
Stress is no joking matter it is something that should be treated as a sickness. For when someone has a cold they don not wait days or weeks or even months to treat it so why wait that long to treat stress. When after all the effects of to much stress can be far worse than a common cold. Take time and watch out when taking on a new activity.
Stress for too long can be dangerous.

Curtain call

Well one more tearful last.
Ian had his final drama play
today. Opening night was good.
But.......
the performance this afternoon
was fantastic. I of course started
crying after the first line was spoken
and melted into a puddle of tears by
the curtain call. It was the story of course
that made me cry not the fact that it is yet
another last for my senior. I am not going to
survive to the end of this year.

I am just sooooo tired. I can't shake this flu
I have had for 2 weeks now and life is falling apart
around me. Hanging ten is slowly diminishing to hanging
2. And amid all the stress already complied don't inanimate
objects and children have to add more to the heap. I'm tired.

The rain is falling outside right now onto the 4 or so inches
of snow we got last night. The kids are hoping for no
school tomorrow I am just hoping the power doesn't go
out. No school would be nice too.

Sleep is calling and hopefully I can answer it tonight.

ttfn

I suck at this blog thing,

But I figure it will be a diary of

sorts if I could only figure out how to print them all out.

I am hoping to look back in a few years

and laugh. No where near that right

now. Ready for that last shovel of dirt to

land and I will be in a drunk induced "coma".

It is finally snowing and of course it has

to be on the weekend of Ian's play. Oh well

I plan on taping it if the family cant make it

through the snow.

I got to drive and undo my chiropractor

visit on the way home because it was

snowing so bad I couldn't see where I was

going. And I was driving Dave's

pickup with no weight in the back to boot.

I love my chiropractor. She is a massage

and therapist all rolled into one. She is a good

listener and has good advice. I have been going to her

for over 5 yrs now and she has been through a lot

with me. The stress of the season is taking its toll

and we talked about how we should put a moratorium on

the holiday hype. That we should go back to stringing popcorn

and spending time with family and that being enough.

No expectations.

I think my drug induced coma would happen before

that but its nice to dream. The kids are gonna have

to settle for the popcorn stringing and family time.

Well I have to go brave the snow and tuck my

ponies in for the night so I can crawl into

bed and sleep away this headache and

pain.

ttfn

It's the end of a very long weekend.
Much has been done and shared
over the past few days and I am ready
for a vacation. The children return to
school and sports and the holiday
season starts full blast. I am ready for my
drug induced coma.

It is a good thing I don't drink anymore..
it could be ugly.

We have tried throughout the years to
teach our children that they are cursed
with the alcoholism gene on both sides of
the family. That it would be a good idea not
to drink at all ever. That the beginning fun they
experience would be short lived and they will take
a very hard painful path that can end one of 2 ways,
pain and suffering, hurting everyone you touch in your
life then waking up 15 or so years down the road and
realize you need to fix your life losing those years and
opportunities for ever or you don't stop and die a miserable
death.
We have been talking to deaf ears.......
My experience has been a double edged sword. I went
through the pain and suffering, suicidal times, depression,
etc. and it is a miracle I survived. But if I hadn't join AA I probably
would have never met my husband and had the kids I have today.

Is it wrong to want to stop my kids from making the same
mistakes their father and I made and to take full advantage
of their brains and physical abilities now and forever and not
flush it down the toilet. I know they have to make their own
mistakes but that doesn't make it any easier on us. These are
life changing mistakes that you can't take back if you choose the
path.

I guess I just keep on talking and hoping that it will sink in one
of these times. That the light will go off in the teenage fog before
it gets to the point of no return. I tell them I love them no matter
what. I will always be there for them. And hope that if they find
themselves in a corner they will reach out for my hand to help
them back.

It has been hard these past few months physically, mentally, financially and faith wise.
its been hard to see through my own fog and I guess I have been blind to some of
the things going on around me. One foot in front of the other is about all I have been
able to handle lately. It would be easier I guess if you didn't throw in the stress of
the fucking Holiday season and everything associated with it. Well onto a new day and
a new chance for life to smooth out.

ttfn

After searching high and low for

the cable for the camera here are some

pictures of the recent work that we

finished and the new addition to my kitchen.

This is the new to me china cabinet

and side board from my sister.

These are pictures of the finished hallway

in the landing at top of the front stairs.

The boarder was improvised. We tried to
put it up in a strip like your suppose to

and it didn't work so we cut each flower

and put them up staggered pattern and it

worked out great.

On to the next project

ttfn

Wow I forget how long a day Thanksgiving is.

I started at 5:45am and went full blast

till crawling into bed at 11:30pm.

It was a very productive day for me not only

do I have enough food to feed the family for

the next few days I also found my kitchen.

It was lost but now is found.

It was bad enough in the first place but

add the contents of the back porch, ( we

put down carpet back there and it is

amazing), I got a new to me China Cabinet

and side board from my sister so I had

to clean out the cabinet I had in the kitchen,

(one of those black hole things), and all

the shoes waiting to decide where to put

them.

It took over 4 hours of sifting

to finally declutter and get rid of

stuff. One thing was Tupperware. It always

makes me ponder when I sort out the Tupperware.

Lids that don't match container and containers

with no lids. It is like the socks with no mates.

A mystery that will never be solved.

I also found gadgets and dodads that I haven't

used in 10 years. When all is done with the

decluttering throughout the house Salvation

Armies trailer better be empty when I pull up.

My in laws ended up coming here for dinner.

They were not doing anything and were just

waiting for Saturdays get together at Marks.

Yea right not!!!!

It was nice to have her come down and ooo and

aww over what we have accomplished the past

few weeks since last she was here.

We pick away and do things here and there

and don't really get the full blown effect

like an outside party.

Plus the whole overwhelming factor

kind of blinds us to the positive things

being the pessimist that we are.

But you know the saying "if I didn't

have bad luck I wouldn't have any

luck at all". We could be the poster

children for that one especially lately.

We have 3 more days in this weekend

and hopefully we will survive. I hate vacations

especially when its cold the children tend to bite

each others heads off constantly. I spent most of my

morning yesterday yelling "stop that".

I am off to shave my head again and then to

some fun at the pool for a "hasbeen wanna be" meet

seeing some old friends and laughing for a while.

ttfn

Thanksgiving?

Tomorrow is the best holiday!

Until after you stuff yourself and want

to die.

I love Thanksgiving. It is one of the

lower maintenance holidays, cost and effort

wise. And the reward is excellent.

It is also one of the few times of the year

that the 6 of us sit down together for

a meal. Just us know one else to

worry about or have to impress!

Then the "holiday season" leading up

to Christmas and New Years begins.

I decided I need to find a doctor that would

be willing to put me in a drug induced

coma till January 2. I should draw up

a business plan and start a business that

offers the service. I would probably make

millions and get to sleep through too.

I use to love Christmas when the kids

were smaller. I would decorate the house

and bake cookies.

Trying to make it as magical as

I could for them in every way.

This year I think we will

be lucky if I set up the fake tree with lights

only. The cat will knock it down anyway.

It is the expectations, self imposed and

people imposed that I can't live up to

this year. Life is very rough right now

and I don't see things changing anytime

soon. We are just doing what we have

to to survive and hoping for a

break.

And don't even get me started on New

Years.

So I will sit back and be thankful

that my family is safe and warm.

We have food to eat on the table for

now. We have a family that loves us.

And I will try to have hope

for the new year.

Love and warm hugs.

ttfn

I received a smile in an envelope today. Usually the mail is full of bills we can't pay and college brochures that remind me my baby will be going to college next fall but today was different. It was just a simple card with a simple saying,

"good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they're always there."

I am not sure but I think it was to let me know she finally broke down and got the "mini van". Welcome to suburban housewifedom.

Much needed hug and laugh from a dear friend.

I guess I never understood the mini van thing. I had one for years and with kids they are definitely an asset. I got a station wagon a few years back and it was nice as a change for a little while but I will always be a mini van lover. Oh well it could be worse I could have had a gun rack in the back. Suburban Redneck housewife and proud of it.

ttfn

Quiet??

It seems quiet lately. No meets or games to go to for almost a week now. You don't realize how crazy it gets till it isn't anymore. A couple of more weeks and the meets and matches start again.

I don't like it when there is a lot of time on my hands. To much time for the brain to work overtime. I have been trying to keep busy with the projects around here but am finding it hard to do much of anything. I am hoping that since I started swimming again last week 2 days a week that my energy level will get better and my body will stop falling apart. It feels great being able to swim again even if it is just 2 days a week this year. I really missed it.

My hubby and I are getting pretty good at this decorating on a very slim budget thing. We are trying to scrap together the money for the last minute touches and solved 2 problem area's very frugally. I think we should do a show on HGTV. We have found anything can look good and if there is a problem there is 3 solutions. Trim, molding, and wall paper. Its amazing what a little molding can cover up.

Megan and I were having a discussion about Christmas trees. I am seriously thinking about not putting one up this year. You would understand my reluctance if you had met the new member of the family. Jr. the royal pain in the butt cat. I say what is the point when he will have it destroyed in 10 seconds. Oh well we will see maybe I will put up the fake one again this year.

Well there is a munchkin hanging on my shoulder and I have to go pick up other rug rats from various practices here and there. Here is to the quiet at least for a few more weeks.
ttfn

WOW

It is Sunday.

Quiet and peaceful because everybody else is

sleeping peacefully.

Here I am awake since 4am.

Awakened by the cat again then the head starts

to race so forget going back to sleep.

The craziness of the week of sectionals is over

and the anxiety is back.

The only ones thrilled I was awake so early were

the cat and the horses.

I usually just toss hay at the girls in the morning

and rush inside but I did my chores instead and hung out.

Really wasn't in any hurry to get back inside this morning.

It has been a crazy week. I looked to see the last time

I wrote and it was Tuesday.

Sara had prelims for sectionals on Wednesday.

She didn't do as well as she had hoped she

ended up in the bottom 8 again this year

in her 200fr and her 500fr. But she wasn't

to upset about the 500fr because she

finally broke 6 minutes.

Granted it was only a 5:59.47 but still it was under 6.

Imagine my reaction if you will,

if I could have done a back flip I would have.

She then had a sort of swim off with one of her team mates.

They both swam the 400fr relay and the one to

swim the fastest 100 time got the spot for sectionals.

Sara beat her team mate by

1/100 of a second to get the spot.

Fast forward to Saturday. I dropped Ian off for

practice at 6:45 along with

Sara to catch the bus up to Webster for

sectionals and headed up to meet

a good friend for breakfast that I haven't seen in forever.

Then we got to the pool an hour

early to get good seats for the meet.

Sara started out with almost winning her 200fr heat.

It was against a girl she has been trying to catch all year.

It was a great race and she lost by a finger tip.

Next she swam the 500fr.

She won by half a length of the pool

and her time................

5:54.37.

She looked up at me

with the biggest smile I have seen on her face and

of course multiply my reaction from Wednesday by

50. Then to finish off her day they won the finals for the

400fr relay and she finally got her sectional patch which

she just missed out on last year.

The team finished 2nd over all out of 14 teams

and one of our seniors got swimmer of the meet.

The first place team

shouldn't even be in our section

and beat us last year by 287 point.

This year they only beat us by 51.

Now its onto Boys Varsity Swimming and

my second senior night.

The tissue companies will be getting rich off me this year.

The ADD kicked in I just went into the kitchen to get

a mug of tea and 45 minutes later I realize I was in the

middle of writing. Well it wasn't wasted time,

the kitchen is uncluttered.

So its back to reality. Boo hiss. Back to bad report cards,

lying children, work to be done around here, sucky job,

finances, bad health, hair falling out, and itchy dogs.

I think I will go out to the barn again

and hide for a little longer.

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I worked yesterday on my day off. Not at my craptastic job but as a sub aide in a elementary school. It was awesome. I guess I was approved for the sub list and they called Sunday night to ask if I could come in on Monday. I felt like I was gonna throw up. But now I did it and survived, not only survived but enjoyed myself. It was fantastic to be around rug rats again. I got to float to three different class rooms working with 4th and 1st graders. I even ate the school lunch and have come to the conclusion that I was an unique lunch lady. Why do lunch ladies have to be so gruff and mean? In this case she was also down right rude. Oh well that was the only ugly person in my path yesterday so I guess the rest of the experience cancels it out. So now I know I won't burst into flames if I sub so I think I will attempt to get on the sub list at our school. I figured I would try out of town just in case I sucked lol.

I went into work at my craptastic job today and had a heated talk with my boss shortly after arriving today. I lost it. Add hormones, exhaustion, stress and built up resentment and boooooommmmm. I told her that the job sucked and I did what I could to keep it together because I really need the job right now. She was complaining about me wearing my ipod while shredding and checking microfilm and I looked at her and couldn't believe she was saying what she was saying. "we need to look professional and when you have those things in your ears you have to take them out to talk to me and what if someone came in, fucking fat chance of that happening, and your phone rings and you don't hear it, duh can't hear it over the god damn shredder etc. I told her if i didn't have the music I would have quit a long time ago or shredded myself. I also reminded her I was told when I was hired that I could listen to music and take breaks when ever because of the type of work I do. You need to do that to keep what little sanity I have left.. OMG she is such a I don't know what. She also went off on the time thing again too and I wanted to slap her. She is the only other person in the office and she is beyond annal. She once again explained that I am a salary employee and some times you have to stay a little longer but you can't leave early to make up for it. I am suppose to work from 8 to 4. So I guess if a delivery comes after 4 I won't be there from now on. Sorry my hours are 8 to 4. I give more and work through lunch a lot of times so they are getting more than there freakin 8 hours usually. I am honest with her about the hours I work and was writing them on my time sheet till she got in trouble for me not working 8 to 4. She is a "christian woman" and does not like to lie. But didn't she cut her lunch short the other day so she could leave a half hour early? They don't come right out and ask so I told her she wasn't lieing anyway. So I guess from now on I will keep my time to myself and work my 8 hours and leave. I can see her point but don't seem to get the no gray area thing. Shit happens and we need to be flexible especially when kids are involved. God My head is gonna explode. I am a great employee with the work I do both quantity and quality. Calgon take me away!!!!!!!!!

The cold is finally here and I am a big baby. I have a hot shower with my name on it when I get back from picking up Sara from the pre meet spaghetti dinner. I took the day off tomorrow so I can go to sectional prelims for Sara's swim team. I need to rest up to cheer loud. Then Saturday is the big day. We will have a good cheering section this year with Gramma and papa, maria, Ian and myself. Go Mustangs!!

Out to brave the cold to pick up the swimmer.

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Spring Cleaning Wait its Fall!!!!

I proved to myself once again that I am no longer a spring chicken.

We had another beautiful fall day yesterday and I didn't want

to waste a minute of it. I have in years past procrastinated for to long

putting away the stuff from the front porch and raking leaves till its sooooo

cold. I had my help home for the first time in months so off we went.

Sara being on taper for swimming of course got the easy job.

She was sitting on the roof, which she loves, flinging

gross stuff from the gutters at the wheel barrel which of course her

younger brother was moving for her.

You conclude the rest, lets just say Sean needed a shower.

Meanwhile Ian and I where raking the yard and cleaning off the front porch.

The sad thing is the raking will continue. Wish we lived in Camelot where

the leaves fall into neat little piles then blow away completely at night of course.

And then of course there was the lawn to finish mowing and the barn to clean.

8 hours later I was dragging myself into the house for a well deserved shower.

I haven't pulled an all day outside cleanathon in a long time and my body is reminding

me this morning why. Pass the Advil.

It is suppose to be a yucky day today that is why I saved wallpapering for

today and did all the outside stuff yesterday. But at this point it looks

like a beautiful sunrise and not to cold. Good thing I got most everything

outside done yesterday.

My fantastic mother in law came over on Thursday to help me get started

on the wallpapering and it looks amazing.

The wallpaper was a bargain find at 3 dollars a roll.

Not sure who is going to help me today but it will be a poor

substitute.

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I was going to say twas the night before Halloween but as I look at my clock it is Halloween. I was informed again earlier this evening that I blew it again and didn't get any pumpkins. I told them I was starting a new tradition no pumpkin Halloween I said it was in boycott of them putting a tax on them because they figure they aren't being eaten just used as decoration. Geesh what next charge a tax to sit in Santa's lap?


I haven't been writing lately because every free second that I am not working or driving the kids here and there I have be stripping wallpaper, fixing holes, painting and cleaning like a mad woman. We are approaching our deadline that we set to have everything done so that we can get the appraisal done and like with most home improvement jobs every one you dig into never turns out to be a simple fix. I thought my poor hubby was going to go out and commit murder last week. He was fixing some of the mess the contractor that screw us over left. It seems that he just vented both the waste line vent pipe for the upstairs bathroom and the vent for the shower right into the attic. I think I even learned some new choice words that day. This is of course the week after my hubby took the backward tumble all the way down the back stairs. The bruise on his butt was quite impressive.

Now isn't that scary for Halloween lol.

I only have one more child that is still interested in going trick or treating. The others like to go off and be juvenile delinquents with shaving cream in hand. This year I will be smart and bring plastic bags and change of clothes for them all so I don't have to freak out about shaving cream all over the car.

I remember doing much more horrible things when we were kids. TP the trees, soap the windows, egg and of course the lit bag of dog poop on the front porch. Ah the good ole days!!!!!

I need sleep the dishwasher needs to get done. I just checked on it about a half an hour ago and it was pouring water all over my kitchen floor. The connector came loose at the faucet and filled the sink to over flow. So I was mopping water off the floor and tossing the cat across the kitchen.

I have come to the conclusion that the new kitten we have acquired is an old dog of mine Max reincarnated. He is cute and dumb and uses his tail to knock stuff off the table and counter. and he is a pest. He just tried to jump in my lap and clocked his head on the keyboard shelf omg.

Well tomorrow is another day a long day.I am off to attempt to sleep if the hot flashes and or the animals let me.

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I hate the morning fight. My youngest, 11 year old female, has no concept of time in the morning. No matter how much time I give her in the mornings I am yelling at her the last 5 minutes as she is rushing to catch the bus. I have been tempted to buy a timer and put it on a string around her neck in the morning but I am not even sure that would work. There was a news story the other day about a mother that was using an electric cattle prod on her daughter which I knew was wrong but at some other level thought what an idea. As a mother you get a lot of those ideas running through your head but you don't actually do them. I am always shock when these news stories come out and also scared that I actually have thought of the same thing. Good thing for that fine line that I could never and would never cross.
Well I stayed up to watch the Red Sox get into the world series last night so today should be a doozie. This week will feel like nothing compared to past weeks. Sean is done with football, Sara doesn't have any swim meets till Saturday for counties so I only have 2 to pick up from practices. Just about a week and a half lull and onto the next set of sports.
Painting awaits.
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SPORTS OVER LOAD

I have no voice to scream at the Red Sox tonight.
Starting on Thursday I was screaming at the girls swim meet,they lost due to a false start in one of the relays. It was a rough night for all between say goodbye to the seniors, the last meet of the season and the loss to a team we should have beaten. Oh well it will make counties and sectionals that much more sweeter when we bite them all in the ass they won't know what hit them. woo hoo.

Then it was onto Friday night Varsity Football. Ian started, yes started, and we missed it because we were late. And then to add insult to injury he played at the end of the game and we didn't see him go in. So we saw him play because we were watching the game but didn't see him play. He was on cloud nine.

Which brings us to the cold, windy, wet last modified football game for Sean today. I have to admit we lucked out with the weather this year having 2 of them playing football today was the only one that was cold and wet out of the whole season. I never really cared much for football but have learned a lot this season and yell the loudest for our team.

Ian who never really cared much for any sport has decided its the best and loves to watch it. He said he would come home for as many games and meets next year as he can. Hopefully that means he will be going to college somewhere near. He is searching the web as we speak for those obscure scholarships and grants. Later we sit down and fill out the long financial aid form on line. My sister said get comfy it takes about an hour and a half. He has narrowed his choices and added a few that he didn't find out about till last week. So time will tell if I will see him every weekend or only on the holidays.

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Its that time again. 5 week reports came out yesterday for the high schoolers. Ian is finally showing what kind of grades he is able to get. Too bad it took him till his senior year to pump it up. Nothing below a 90. It warmed the cockles of my heart.We are doing college apps this weekend he has finally pared down his choices so we are off to the college races. Sara on the other hand is in the middle of a nervous break down. Between work load this year, having teachers that aren't so warm and fuzzy, and sports she is frazzled. Failing 3 subjects at the 5 week point. I love the comments that come along with these reports, pleasure to have in class, fails to turn in required assignments and or projects. Both my older children think homework is unnecessary. I have been trying for years to pound into their heads that it is very important and necessary. They take the tests and quizzes and get high marks yet are failing because of procrastination and laziness not doing projects or turning homework in on time. They had the high school open house tonight and I made a point of meeting all of Sara's teachers and touching base with them to keep me informed before not after she is way behind. Of course they all think she is a wonderful, smart and talented young lady. And don't even get me started on how beloved my big guy is to about every person he comes in contact with, large and small. If only they knew it and ran with it. Oh well then maybe they wouldn't be as wonderful they would be arrogant bastards.

Sara got cleared by the doctor on Tuesday morning and got thrown into a major meet against one of the schools who actually give them some competition. They beat a tough team by only 8 points and would have lost if she hadn't been able to swim. She complained she had crappy times and I had to laugh. She was out of the pool for a week and swam her normal 200free, 500free, 200free relay and 400free relay and actually scored points for her finishes. Tomorrows meet is going to be another cliff hanger plus its senior night so it should be an emotional time had by all.

I realized over the past 3 weeks how few people I have to talk to when I am going nuts mainly because my mother in law was out of town and I figured out how much i need her. She is an amazing woman and I am so beyond blessed to have her in my life. She has been home like 3 days and is coming down to help us get moving again and get the stuff done around here on time. Especially when she heard Dave fell down the back stairs on Monday. He is no longer allow to do anything without adult supervision. I have to take a picture of the bruise on his behind and post it it is amazing.

Well tomorrow is gonna be a long one for a change so I must be off to lala land. Listen hard around 5 pm you may hear us cheering.
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Tell Me Again Why Do We.......

Okay here is a riddle of sorts,

Who drives an hour and a half

to a football game in Geneva,

when its freaking cold outside

to watch the team get clobbered

and the one player you want to see

play go into the game at the very end

to play a whole 3 minutes?

Am I insane or just a mother?

What is the difference between the two?

Does it not take alot of insanity to make it

through ?

If you have the answer to the above questions keep them to yourself I don't want to know. Ian didn't care he got to go in and that is all that counts to him. Not for how long just that he got to smack some guys around is all that it takes to pump him up.

Sara's swim team lost by only 12 points on Thursday. I wish it had been a little more. In reality they could have beaten the unbeatable team for the first time on record if she had swam. I watched her watch the races she usually does with agony on her face. You could tell she wanted to jump in the pool soooooo bad. I am hoping on Tuesday she gets a clean bill of health and she will be able to prove it in counties and sectionals and whoop them and they won't know what hit them. The team was a mixed bag of feelings, the seniors were mad at her for "ruining" their senior year. Most everybody else was worried about Sara. Kids. The parents in the stands were outwardly concerned but a few of them you could tell the words out of their mouths were different at home. Parents.

I am off to yet another sport event today but at least it will be a warm and toasty inside swim meet.

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CALGON TAKE ME AWAY PLEASEEEEEEEE

I opened the flood gates this morning and seem to have broken off the faucet so I can't turn them off. This menopausal shit is for the birds. It couldn't have been that big of a deal to pick that apple and get booted out of the Garden to warrant what we women go through during our life time. I keep focusing on the fact that it could be worse I could be bleeding to death at this time also but even that is wearing thin. Another sleepless night under my belt between hot flashes and worrying about my daughter dieing in her sleep.
Sara had a head on collision in the pool about 2 weeks ago and got a pretty good bump on her head. Since then when ever she swims her head hurts and it has got worse over the ensuing weeks. I took her to the doctor today and she is pulled from swimming till she is symptom free for a week. She has the big meet on Thursday which they had a slight chance of maybe beating the team from Livonia for the first time but now that chance is gone. I don't know who is more disappointed her or me. I am pissed at myself for not being a better mom and taking her to the doctor the day after it happened but I didn't. The coaches said she was fine. Suck it up. I have been on the verge of tears for the past 2 weeks over little things in my life but today there was no holding them back. Add to it all the dog ripping his nail half way off and a trip to the vet that I can't afford,the fact the hubby has been unsuccessful in finding a replacement per Diem job with truck payment and loan payments looming, and my dream job seemingly not becoming a reality, well pass the tissues.
I love just walking along at a nice even keel and then having someone pull the rug out from under you. I have never been good at dealing with the twists in the road of life so when the major pits happen all at once, adding in freaking menopause, I am useless. I guess I need to "suck it up".
I have to concentrate and be strong for my daughter and poor Henry who is following me around in spite of his foot because he knows mom is upset. One foot in front of the other and resist the urge to dive under my pillow and never come out again.
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I found something that had been missing in the kitchen for a while now. My "sideboard". I should have thought to take a before picture to give the full effect of the transformation. It was scary the depth and amount of pure crap that was on top. I have reclaimed it and it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling I really need right now. I am in the throws of major menopausal symptoms and I feel I am losing any control I might have had over my life. So these small reclaimings of chaos in my life helps me over the bumps.

So my kitchen is de-cluttered, my barn is clean, my horses are fed and tucked in for the night and I did 4 loads of laundry today in between running kids to practices and doctor appointments. I think I can truly say I accomplished something today. To bed, why I don't get any sleep anyway, to prepare for another day in paradise.

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