It's Tuesday again. Where did the week go? The week before the play is always a blur of craziness and exhaustion. Your both glad and sad its over especially when you have to say goodbye to seniors doing their last play before graduation. I am going to need major sedation next year when Ian does his last play. I cry hard enough when its someone elses kid. Of course the play was fantastic. The kids got the bugs out on Wednesday at dress rehearsal and nailed it on Thursday and it only got better Friday then Saturday night. Ian managed to tick off the director, the musical director and his wife. Every year Ian tries to fit in a prank into the last show. Usually he does it in the fall production and it involves a bra. Well there was no fall production this year due to time and fiances so he did it for the musical. Lets just say the audience loved it and it got a big laugh because it fit the point in the play and his character. But the directors don't like shtick and yelled at him for it. They never expected something like that from Ian of all people the director even asked me if I knew who put him up to it. I told her that it was his idea and he does it every year giving her the explanation. Well hopefully it will be forgotten by next year and he doesn't get passed on for a good part because of it.
I went back to work today after taking a few days off last week for the play and my father in laws surgery. I am so behind in everything except work. I was gone for a week and a half and I missed nothing and still have nothing to do but brainless paper shredding. Calgon take me away. I also found out why I do 2 loads of laundry a day because when I don't I get buried and can't seem to catch up. So much for catching up this week. Some one at Sean's swim meet today asked me how it felt to have the play over and life back to normal and calmer and I looked at her and said are you talking to me. This week its work, swim meets, track meets, Boy Scout court of honor and trying to re fence my pasture before anyone gets sick on the green grass popping up. What am I going to do when they are all grown and gone?

Well I am off to bed to hopefully sleep some before jumping into another 18 hour day. My gratitude 3 for today is
1. The warm sunny weather.
2. The anticipation to ride again soon
3. For my active life.

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Okay is the day over yet? Last night I pulled out the video camera to get it ready to use to film the play like I do every year and found out it wasn't working. OK so I was smart when I bought it, I purchased the warranty so I took it back to the store I got it from but they don't do in house repair they have to send it out. 7 to 10 days. I was in tears. My father in law is having surgery tomorrow and cant make it to the play and I told him not to worry I'd film it anyway. So I stopped at good ole walmart on the way to Seans swim meet and they have the same camera for a good price so I figured I would get it, use it, and return it after I was done. Rats foiled again got it home and it doesn't work. So I guess I am making another trip up to walmart tomorrow to return it sooner than I thought. Still don't have a camera i guess I will be making some calls tomorrow to see if I can borrow one.
I just read one of my dear friends blogs and she was talking about menopause and the hell she is going through. I offered to hold her hand and jump off the bridge with her. I was suppose to go this morning for my meeting with the gynecologist and have my annual check but gee my period decided to start a week early and with a vengeance.
I am so having this ripped out asap. I want my sanity back or at least what little I had left after having 4 kids.
I ended my day the same way it started by coming home from play practice at 10;30 and all I wanted to do was go out to the barn and put my horses to bed and found a sick raccoon sleeping in the hay. Poor thing he was so small and helpless I felt bad. So I had to help the husband after he shot the poor thing and I know it was for the best the poor thing was sick but gosh it just rips my heart out.
So I am off to bed to begin my day again at 530am. Please send sweet dreams.
My gratitude three are
1. That my hubby hadn't left for work yet tonight before i found the poor raccoon.
2. That the play is coming together fabulously and should be fantastic as always.
3. that I am not alone in my quest for sanity and survival of menopause.

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I hate myself. I hate my passive walk all over me I am a door mat part of myself.
I need to go to school to learn how to be assertive, not aggressive but assertive. My back is killing me because I wasn't assertive last summer. Huh you say. The neighbor that bales my hay for my horses didn't do enough for me. I knew it wasn't enough for the season and passively said something to him to no avail. So now I am paying him 25 dollars for a large round bales to feed my horses and its a royal pain in the butt. Much more labor intensive than using square bales. And the kicker the round bales came out of our field and he sells them. Can you say sucker. I am trying to find someone to buy some square bales from but this time of year its hard to find and when you do they rape you in price. Well this year I am going to be definitely firm on how much hay I need him to bale for us and not take no for an answer. I have till June/July to mantra myself into it ha ha.

We had a house full of men and boys today playing their army games. My hubby's brothers come up with their boys and they all play games for the afternoon. It is so nice to have them be able to connect like this usually once a month. My boys are getting so big and soon the biggest will be off to college. I passed another mother the other day going into to the high school for the third time and she laughed and said she only had one kid she can't imagine doing it times 4. I realized that when they are gone I will be so bored. Empty nest syndrome will hopefully not kill me. Ian just got his card for his savings account we opened the other day and I cried. He has a job and is saving his money for junior prom and college. Sara also opened a savings account to save her money from her job. They are going to fast for me I want to hit the pause button. Oh well I guess I just have to sit back and enjoy the ride while I can and face the rest when it comes. They definitely make it hard to stop most of the time to ponder because of the various activities they are involved in like the play and sports. Only 4 more days till the opening night of the play.

So my gratitude three list for today is:
1. gathering family in friends to spend fun time together.
2. corn beef and cabbage
3. for a semi clean and decluttered house and I didn't do it all by myself.

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They are all getting so big. We went to see my nephew in a play last Saturday. It was hilarious and he did a fantastic job as Carl the Janitor. Mine are at play practise as I sit here and type this. This is always a crazy few weeks this time of year because of their involvement in the plays. I love that they love to do it. I never had the nerve to try out and get up on the stage. I am a closet/shower singer and could have been a star haha. A week from tonight is opening night and they have practice till 9:30pm every night this week and then next week every night is dress rehearsal. What am I gonna do when I don't have them here anymore? I am gonna be so bored and have tons of time on my hands.

Megan and I went to the movies tonight. It was kind of a way of saying sorry I cut her hair so short last night. I have been threatening to cut it if she didn't keep it brushed and she hasn't so I cut it. Well the trauma of going to school today was so overwhelming for both of us but her head didn't explode and all her friends thought it was sooooo cute. Never say cute to Megan. She is fun to hang out with.

Well I am off to pick up the brood from practice and hopefully to bed before 12am tonight. My gratitude list is as follows:
1. Time spent with my baby girl.
2. my cutie doggie that is trying to help me type this
3. The ability to be here for my kids.

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Relax Its The Weekend hahahahahaha

What is so great about weekends? They are most times
busier than the weekdays around here. There is nothing
relaxing about them.

I took my 3 younger children to see their cousin Dylan in a play at his school. It was at a school that use to be an elementary school when I went to school in the area. It now is one of two middle schools. Before we went to the play Sara and I had eye exams and got new glasses. Sara thinks its cool she can see clearly now but is bummed about having to wear glasses she thinks she looks like a geek. Of course she could never look like a geek no matter what she wears but can't tell her that. I also remembered why I like to take my children out one at a time too. Megan and Sean are like oil and water and when they get bored they drive me crazy.

Ian and Dave got to spend some quality son and dad time. It was Ian's 17th bday on Thursday and its tradition for Dave to take the boys to a movie and dinner. They had fun and saw a movie they both had been wanting to see.

So my gratitude 3 list is as follows:
1. That my eyes have only gotten a little worse and I was able to put off bifocals one more year.
2. Spending quality time with my children.
3. For the warmer weather.

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Burrrrr is all i have to say. And it isn't even as cold as its going to get today. We live on top of the hill so when that wind starts to whip look out. The snow drifts are beyond amazing. They are calling for the temperature to drop to below zero and wind chill to be -15 to 20 tomorrow I fear another snow day in the future.

I am going on week 3 of being sick. What I have I cant seem to shake. I have exhausted the regular doctor so she is now sending me to the gynecologist for the next phase of tests. I am frustrated to no end. I have maybe 2 hours a day where i am able to function and get things done then I am so tired I have to crawl back into bed. The days I actually have to go to work are beyond impossible but some how I make it through. I have also found out how much I do around here too. The house is a total mess because it isn't on the important list of to do things. I have also found out how down right lazy my kids are. We are having a family meeting tonight after dinner to discuss the matter and assign jobs for each to do till i start to feel better. But it makes me so angry that i even have to ask. That they don't notice the sink over flowing with dishes and the laundry piling up and don't say gee mom is feeling bad I should help.

I am getting some new to me furniture from my sister. She finally convinced her hubby to get her new stuff and said I can have the old stuff. Maybe that will perk me up to have new stuff lol. The girls are already fighting over who gets what part of the couch that is in the living room right now. Megan wins she needs a bed in her room. First we have to shovel it out to get anything else in there.

My youngest son is singing along with Billy Joel's "Piano Man" song. All the stuff we listened to as kids is back its too funny. Especially when they say mom you have to hear this song and I say I did about 30 years.

Well I must go and brave the cold one more time tonight and put my poor horses in the warmish barn for the night. My gratitude 3 list I have not done in awhile so here goes:
1. For a brighter and less stressful future thanks to a wonderful friend.
2. For a safe haven out of the cold wind.
3. For medical insurance.

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