How fair is this I have a snow day from work
but........ the kids have to go to school. I figured
with all the crap going on Its only fair right?
I usually hate snow days but not today yahooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooo

ttfn

Door Open my A#$

This week should be the end of the house stress. We are hopefully closing on a new mortgage by the 30th. It was a long and stressful road to this point but the house looks good and we were able to get a "MUCH" better rate finally. But until the papers are signed there is still the fear of the other boot dropping, see I used boot instead of shoe, that's because shoes are small boots are big and that's usually what happens. The saying goes when a door closes life opens a window or another door. Our experience seems to be it opens a window barely and then slams a door in our face.
Until Dave can find another job we will still be struggling but not as desperately.

I am so tired of it all. This winter has been one ill after another for me. I can't remember any 2 days in a row that I haven;t been sick.I am finding it harder and harder to fight back and function as a person.It wouldn't be so bad if it was just me I had to worry about. I would just start drinking again and pretend like I use to that life was wonderful but I know that it isn't the same anymore so even that wouldn't work. My job which I thought couldn;t suck anymore than it already does does, my car is dieing and we still owe on it so we can't fix it or replace it,and my children have decided to be stupid once again.


A friend of mine wrote a blog about marriage and kids. She talked about surviving a long time marriage and wondering why we have kids.
It amazes me how she writes a blog and it so relates to my life at the time.The marriage part of the blog was food for thought. My husband and I have a pretty good marriage I feel maybe mostly because we sleep in separate spaces and hardly ever see each other. Just kidding we hardly ever fight but when we do its usually about money or the kids. The question of "Why did we have kids" was something we were just thinking if not saying last night. I don't know. I know I love them so much it hurts and I would do anything in the world for them. What is it inside of us that makes us feel and do the things we do for our kids. Well most of us. You trust them, think you have taken all the safety precautions to make sure they are doing what they say, where they say, and they blow the trust right out that closed window. Now if it were a friend or acquaintance you would be very angry and probably have a hard time talking to or associating with them any more. But with the kids you keep going back for more. It can't be the flesh and blood thing because I hardly ever talk to my brother and only when I have too ( that's a whole other story) so what is it.

I want my kids to have friends and be active and enjoy their lives but I also want to keep them safe. I know there are certain risks in any activity for everybody but when they purposely go out and do things they know they aren't suppose to and then think they will get away with it. Its been a while rebuilding the trust from the last dump ass stunt they pulled and my back is so full of stab wounds it isn't funny. We are at a lost as to how to punish them short of locks on their doors and only let out to go to school and bathroom.
And then the reactions of the indignity from especially my daughter like she doesn't deserve this and how can I even suggest she can't see someone ever again. And Ian, its his senior year and there are a lot of things going on how do we handle that.Sure he is going to be 18 soon and we could say okay boom your 18 its all yours but something tells me it won't work that way. Senior Ball is the first hurdle. Well hopefully when they return to school tomorrow after yet another day off from school, need i go into we hardly ever got days off from school, they won't find themselves off sports teams and no longer apart of the school musical.

I desperately need to figure out how to help myself before I go down and take everybody with me. It was suggested by my savior, my chiropractor, that I start taking care of myself before its too late especially health wise. I am not sure how to do that anymore. Or if I have the energy. She suggested another visit to the doctor and maybe therapy. I know she is right just wish I could find a doctor and a therapist that is as caring and listens as well as she does. It all comes down to energy. Of which I have none right now. The children just sapped the last of it last night. So I am off back to bed and hopefully make some phone calls later. And that the world will be okay tomorrow.

ttfn

This is my mother in law
She is the most wonderful
person. She is helpful with-
out being pushy. She is a
best friend. Alot of the stuff
we did on the house she either
assisted with, did herself or
prodded with ideas to get the
ball rolling. Thanks Mom Your
The Greatest.


This is the most amazing
thing that got done in the
house and yet one of the
simplier things. The floor
in the kitchen needed a
transition piece since the
dork that left things unfinished
5 plus years ago. He had cut
one of the pieces before he
left so we found a guy to match
the piece and install it.
If you had lived with the gap
for as many years as I have
you would better understand why
of all we did this one thing is
my favorite. The kitchen is done
finally after all these years.
Hoot.

ttfn

These are some of the before and after

pictures of the upstairs

landings both front and back stairs.

Its amazing what a little paint and wallpaper and

paneling will do for a place.

Everything looked good and we were able to make

the appraisal amount we needed to refinance.

Its been a long hard year to get to this point but

we "survived". I am just trying to convince my body

it was worth it.

Now its time for a vacations.

ttfn

"Thought for the day "Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or hump it. Piss on it and walk away."

I don't have enough energy right now to write a long one but I got this saying from a friend in my email and wanted to share because it was to good to keep to oneself.

I have pictures of the house after my 32 hour cleaning and good news on the appraisal but I must go to bed so hopefully I will be able to post again soon.

ttfn
Breathing is good

Senior Year

I was too tired to write about the
meet Thursday for Ian. The team
did it again. They beat a team that
they have not beaten in 29 years.
That makes two this year, Livonia
and HFL yahooooooo.

It makes for a nice final year for Ian
especially due to the fact no matter
how hard he tries he can't seem
to qualify for counties again this year.

The meet came in the middle of my
32 hour cleaning spree and was a nice
break with a happy ending.

Sean is between sports right now and
Sara is doing indoor track with meets
on Friday nights mostly at ungodly hours
and an hour and a half away. I have only been
to one of her meets in two years because
of the time, place and this year gas prices.
Her pole vaulting is off this year but hope-
fully by spring track she will hit her groove.

I am off to write a sappy card to go with my
Mother in laws Christmas present. And then
maybe a nap.

ttfn

TGIF

Okay I am going with the philosophy that
if something comes in like a lion it will go
out like a lamb.

I was up for 32 straight hours.
I did everything you can think of that
one can do to fix up the house. It ranged
from painting and wallpapering to caulk-
ing the tub and cleaning. It has been a
long while since I last pulled an all
niter such as this. And even then
I usually had some chemical reinforce=
ment.

The house is clean and as spiffy as we
could get it and it is now in the hands of
the FHA as to what comes next. Calgon
take me away.

I got to sleep a whole 3 hours before life
invaded upon me again. I am sooo
tired. But I figure like I stated at the
beginning of the blog about the lion/
lamb theory that the beginning of this
year could definitely be categorize as
a big fat lion.

Don't know how I am going to pay bills
next week or buy groceries if this thing
does not work out but I have high hopes
for the future its only fair haha.

We are off tomorrow for the family
O'Brien Christmas and just be able
to sit back and chill, no dead lines,
no things that have to be done. I am
looking forward to it.

ttfn