Quote for the day:
"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her."
So - if you give her crap, you will receive a bucket full of shit.
Love and appreciate all the women in your life.

Saying Farewell

I had to say good bye to a

friend yesterday. I don't

know why I get so attached

they don't seem to stay very

long in my life and I know that.

My mistake is naming them!!

Okay I know its a car stop

laughing. She finally took

a turn for the worse and we

needed to make a decision.

A major one that I am hoping

we can handle.

We were very good this time.

We went to a place that was

recommended by Dave's Brother.

We test drove 6 different cars &

of the 6 this one seemed the best

fit.

I also just realized while posting

the pictures for both cars here that

the new one looks a lot like the old one

except it looks like its on steroids.

So we jumped in with both feet

to a new relationship.

Now the

only two questions are, How the

hell to pay for it and What are we

going to name this one.

ttfn

Riding

I went riding with my girls
this evening. On a bike!!!!
I haven't' been on a bike in
about 15 years or so. Meg
wanted to go down to the
village and ride bikes. We
rode around the village and
got ice cream. We rode
Back to the truck at the
park and played a little
Frisbee, I am ready
for bed.

It was nice to spend the
time with them like that.
It is rare that we have the
time all at once to be able to
pull it off. It was nice sitting
and watching my oldest daughter
teach her little sister the ins and
outs of ultimate Frisbee and how
to properly throw the Frisbee.

I know my youngest craves
attention from her sister and
me. We live such crazy lives its
nice to slow down and feed our
cravings.

Well I am falling asleep as I type
and believe I will have no problem
sleeping tonight.

ttfn

Parties Over

The party was good. This is

the wonderful cake my

Mother in law worked so hard

on. She had fun with the black

frosting.

Ian practicing his cake cutting

skills. May come in handy in

about 6 years.

This is what happens when

you leave 2 adults in the room

alone with what originally said

Good Luck Ian. I guess the

female half had something

worse in mind but the male

half talked her out of it. There

were children around!!

The weather was half and half

it got really windy and then a

rain set in thank goodness for

my big front porch. It was quite

cozy.

One more bump on the road

to college is ridden out and I

survived. Not so sure about

August 23rd.

Now hopefully some lull till

the next hurdle comes along.

ttfn

Baby to Man o Man!

Here are some of the Photos

that Sara scanned for her

tribute to her big brother.

Bald to Furry in 18 years!

Enjoy.

Tie dye Rules!

I'm A Happy Pirate....

Tie dye still rules!

Awkward times.

Ladies man and friend to

the king....

BIG BROTHER YOU WILL BE MISSED!!!!

I don't know if I mentioned that on the
drive to swim camp my daughter spent
her time in the back seat with a stack of
scanned pictures and tape which to molded
into a tribute to her big brother for his
grad party. It is fantastic. Once I have
it all together and hung on Saturday I
will try to take a picture of it. She is going
to miss him.

I spent till 2:30 this morning putting my
embarrassing posters together with samples
of his school history. He packed alot in the
few years of his life that he has lived already.
I am very proud of the man he has become.

The final preparations are underway the next
few days. The hole is filled in at least in the back
yard. Still not pretty but nobody will fall in now.
I have spruced up the yard and it hasn't looked
this good in years. Its amazing what a little
motivation will do to make you do things you
have put off for a while.

Tomorrow will be a small break/visit. I meet
my friend Maria to do some shopping at Sam's
Club. She is so funny she said she is excited
because she has always had this card and gone
to the store and looked at the big pack of things
but being she lives alone she never got to buy
any of it. Now she can for Ian's Party. So we
will shop for big stuff and visit before the craziness
of Saturday.

If it wasn't for family and friends this party would
never have happened. With every body bring
something I hardly have to do any food prep at
all which works for me. I was freaking about
feeding possibly 50 people on Saturday. Money
and time wise I think we will be okay and not
go bankrupt. But boy am I going to need a long
nap/vacation when this is over. I will have to
figure something out for this year because I
am not going to camp. Yes I am sad it was like
my vacation away from home with only one
of my kids and getting fed and not having to
clean up. Simple things that make us happy.

Off to drop football players off to lift and then
more cleaning and fluffing for Saturday.

Calgon take me away.

ttfn

I feel like I have spent the last few days in the car oh wait I have.
I had to rent a car on Saturday to take Sara to swim camp because
I was also suppose to take her friend also and then her friends mom
was going to pick them up on Saturday. Well I rented the car and
as we were driving home her friend texted her and said I have bad
news. Panic set in and Sara called and the friend said she couldn't go
because she didn't have her paper work she needed. grrrrrrrrrrrr.
So I rented a car I didn't need to spending money I don't have, see
prior post about hole in yard for one of the reasons, and had to
convince a very freaked out child that she would be fine and have
fun anyway.

This is a young lady that would like you to think she is so independent.
Well this is the first time in her 16years of life she has been away from
home by herself for this long. She is shy and has difficulty meeting people
and was petrified to go into this camp not knowing anybody. And I was
trying to be brave to help her through it. I should get a medal I didn't
fall apart till after we said goodbye and I walked out of the room. Ian
tried to reassure me she would be fine and I told him he thought this was
bad just wait till August 23rd that this was mild compared to then.

I touched base with her that night and she had already made a friend
named Suzy from Brooklyn. Her roommate was only 12 but it is like rooming
with her sister and I told her she would probably be in there only to sleep
so don't worry. Then she finally called tonight and was totally exhausted after
3 sessions and fun and games today and sounded like she was having fun.
She said there are 2 groups of girls 1 is a group of materialistic girls from
Fairport haha and then the other girls. She hangs with both but prefers
the other girls.

So I will sleep hopefully better tonight and not worry about her as much.

Oh and the ride home now my husband will have to miss most of Ian's
grad party so he can go and pick Sara up on Saturday. I hope her "friend"
feels really bad for ditching her and she has a great time and her friend is
sorry she didn't go.

Funny side note that wasn't so funny this morning. I drove to return the
rental car and forgot to take my car keys for my car. It wouldn't have been
so bad but the rental place was almost and hour from my house. So I spent
most of today in a car, so long in fact that I could have driven to Maine.
Maybe I should have.

Off to bed and the mind better shut off so I can get to sleep. I have way to
much to do before Saturday, Calgon take me away.

ttfn

trench......

Here are the follow up pictures of the

lovely trench and hole in my back yard.

The gravel has finally been placed and

we are just waiting for the neighbor to

fill in the trench. Gee if it rains we can

have mud sliding as one of the activities

on Saturday.

It's Officail!!!!

Went spent 2 whirl wind days in Fredonia Thursday and Friday.

He is officially registered for his class and got all the ones he wanted.

He met some freshman and slept in a dorm. He ate amazing food for

a dining hall. Nothing like the dining hall of the past. And the library

is where he will be living. He walked into it and saw all the books and

didn't want to leave. The campus is amazing and the programs are top

notch. He is looking forward to getting back for good in August.

Me I listened to different departments tell what they could do for him

and how safe he will. Doesn't help. I was pretty good most of the time

teared up a couple of times but when it came to the session on adjusting

to your child leaving for college and your child's adjustment to college and

the other mother stated what they feared and started crying it was all over

for me. I was able to pull it together and finish off the 2 days dry eyed.

Look out on the 23rd of August though. Flood gates will be hard to hold back.

I am off to take Sara to swim camp tomorrow. She had a friend going with her

who backed out at the last minute. Of course after I rented the car to take them

because my car is a piece of crap. Which now I didn't need because I could have just

taken my husbands truck which is free and doesn't cost anything to use other than

gas. Nice friend. Sara has never been away from

home for this long by herself. She is a wee bit nervous. She felt knowing someone

would make it easier. She has a hard time opening up to new people believe it or

not if you saw it at home you would never guess she is shy. She will be fine.

Not knowing anybody sometimes can be an advantage. I will stay longer

than I planned at first to make sure she is settled and meets at least her roommate

then I will leave her 3 hours away from home and hope she has the time of her

life. She will. Oh and I didn't mention the best part her friend was going to bring her

home next Saturday from camp. Now I have to figure out how to be in 2 places at once, Ian's

grad party and in Oneonta picking up Sara from swim camp.

Then its home to begin the readying of the grad party haha. Hopefully the hole in my back yard, wait let me rephrase that the 2 holes and a trench in my back yard will be filled in at least. Can't do anything about the dirt before. I haven't taken pictures of the trench and second hole but here is what it looked like before I left for Fredonia on Thursday.

That was bad enough now just imagine a trench from that hole down past the tree stumps on the right in the first picture and then another hole 5 times the size of this one. Calgon take me away.

Hair cuts await then bed to prepare myself for my long drive tomorrow.

ttfn

Life Time Released!!!!!!

Its quiet!
Yesterday not so quiet!

But everybody is
still sleeping so it is a
false quiet.


The big bang yesterday
was fueled by the stress
of lack of money to even
buy groceries then the
mail came. Which confirmed
what I was afraid of I am not
getting a paycheck this week,

that the larger than normal
check 2 weeks ago was it for
another 2 weeks. But......


in the mail were the two older
children's report cards. Does
the phrase by the skin of your
teeth mean anything. Most of
the finals/regents they got high
grade but the class grades in a few
of the classes were lets just say below
the passing mark. Thank goodness
the final test grades were so high
it helped them pass.

Ian's response to his fathers ravings
about how could you get a 50 in the
final marking period in the
subject your going to college for
(Sara got a 50 also from the same
teacher) was its done, over I graduated.
This only caused more steam to come
out of Dave's ears.

I understand Ian's response. He did
High School because he had to it
was mandatory but college is for him,
he is doing it for himself for his future.
I know, I know we have tried for his
whole public education to try and make
him see how much easier his college
years could be if he applied himself
but they hear and use what they are
going to hear and use and that's that.

I would like to think that between the
ages of 0 and 18 I have some control,
allow me my delusion. Full control can
be maintained on some children because
of the personality they are born with
and the parents ability to parent without
any garbage imposing itself from the past.


I am in the garbage imposing circle and so
is my husband. Most of his reaction to the
report cards were demons from his past
that he doesn't want our kids to have to
forge through. And most of our reactions
to the things, especially our older two
children seem to be doing, also get the
same reaction.

Sara wrote a letter a few weeks back
that was meant as a "I am going

camping for a few days to find myself
don't worry about me" letter but she
didn't go and Dave found the letter.
It turned out to be a catalyst for me
at least.

It was actually 3 separate letters one
to both of us, one to me and one to Dave.
I wish I could put the whole thing down but
it is 2 pages long so here it is in probably a
big nut shell. She starts by apologizing for
lying a few weeks back when she and Ian
went to a party instead of where they said
they would be. And then makes the point that
Ian is 18 and its time to let him learn his limits
before he leaves for college. I agree. I have
giving him all the advise and lessons I can, now
it is up to him, as Sara put it, fly or crash and
burn.

She then says "WE ARE NOT YOU". She admits
to drinking but not every day and not every time
its offered. We have always pounded into them that
they are cursed on both sides of the family, that
it is inherited, in their blood and that it is better
not to even drink. But would we have listened
when we were there age? "We must slip and fall
in life but making things seem bigger than they are
will only make us rebel."

She said a few things that hurt but they hurt only
because they were true. She says she has inherited

my "uncanny ability to put things aside" and her
fathers stubbornness and the two together are not
so great. OMG I am my mother...........

I just wish I could make her understand that I
do know what she is feeling way to well. She
said that she wanted to go camping to feel alone
instead of feeling alone around everybody. That she
wanted to paint and write and think and she "knows
it may not be the smartest plan but "I feels it right
at the moment and isn't that life following you heart,
your gut instinct, I don't do that very often".

We have always nurtured her dreams just look at
her room for an example. But I think I have been
guilty to the max of giving in to much, wanting hers,
their childhood to be better than mine. The proverbial
wishy washy parent. See were our paths differ is my
dreams, and desires were crushed and beatin out of me.

I have been long winded but this has been brewing in
me since 3 weeks ago but every time I sat down to write
I went blank (maybe trying once again to put it aside).
I have 2 other children that it isn't to late to change the
way I deal with life. (Not that I am giving up on the other

two. ) I am sick of being stuck, the victim,
the what ever you want to call it. I need to figure out
what I need to change me to change the way things
work around here. I need to suck it up cupcake.

I have to let my children be children, to a point, and
trust that they will make smart decisions. I would
rather have an honest answer to where they are
going and let them know they can call me if needs
be then have the make up some thing and then
wonder if that is really what is happening. I tried it
the second way already and no matter how diligent
I was they found a way around it.

Well now I need to get back to avoiding the
question of where will I get money to pay for
all the things I have to pay for in the next few
weeks and go for a ride. That will be another
blog on pride all its own.

ttfn

Have A Problem Eat Pie!!!

I hate money. Maybe its because

I don't have any. This week is the

start of my slashed job hours and

the last full pay check till I can find

another full time job.

Its going to get interesting in the

creative finance department. I think

I will start charging the kids for gas

money running them up and down the

hill. Ha Ha.

Dave is going to try and pick up a

few extra days a month at the

other hospital to fill in the gaps.

And the money I was so good about

saving to pay for swim camp, swim club,

College prep stuff and trip to Maine is in

jeopardy. Not to mention the crazy grad

party we are throwing Ian in a couple of

weeks.

I am going to have to use all my frugal

skills to the max. I really need to write

a book some day.

I am definitely voting in November.

It costs to much to live these days

and when you start to make headway

things like gas at 4.25 a gallon builds

yet another wall to finally being able

to breath.

Off to eat some of the pie my daughter

made with berries growing in the field.

Smells delicious.

ttfn

FOOTBALL

Sean and Meg are down lifting
for the summer session of
staying/getting in shape for
football in the fall. Yes Meg.

She signed up for it the last weeks
of school and received her
schedule and times for lifting.
I let Sean play I couldn't say
no to her.

Is my angry over
gender bias getting in the way
of my daughters safety? I don't
know but she wants to try and
I can't say no.

But there is a catch for girls.
Boys can sign up and play no
questions asked for modified
football but girls have to take
a test before being allowed to
play.

So she is working hard over the
summer and will take the test right
before football starts to help her
chances of passing. Personally
I hope she fails the test so its not
me telling her she can't play.

But
she is a tough cookie and I fear
will work hard this summer and
show those stinky boys a thing or
two.

ttfn