Happy Turkey Day

Here I sit preparing myself to face family today. I am mostly spending the day with the favored side of the family but still I keep saying I dont wanna go. I really dislike this time of year. It use to be my favorite time of year. I think most of it is that I muck it up for myself. I feel like the poor stupid relations. Cant seem to get it right always messing up. I feel it more when i am with my family though then my hubbys. I wish i didnt care what they think but i do. This year is gonna be especially rough. We have begun to recieve the christmas list for the family and we dont even know how the hell we are gonna buy our own kids stuff let alone the families kids. And of course to admit it to them they would understand but i dont. The holidays are hard enough but then we have financial things going on which im not sure we can pull out of this time and the kids are doing things we hoped they would never do and the animals are getting the neighbors pissed off etc. etc. etc. One thing at a time please. They say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger well im not feeling very strong right now i am fighting hard to keep myself above the fog and the deep water. I am stronger than i was years ago but am i strong enough to survive this.? I was thinking back about the problems that i had that got me to AA and how simple those problems seem. I am hoping if i survive this that i will look back in 20 years and feel the same way. So in the mean time i will go and smile and pretend life is good and eat turkey with the family.
P.S Anyone interested in a dog. We have to get rid of her before the neighbor shoots her. ttfn