Home Sweet Home Kind of!!!

I survived Scout Camp. It was rough and I thought for sure I would be calling home for a ride on Tuesday but I pushed through and had fun in spite of my physical condition. I got to watch my boy small boat sail with his best friend both screaming like girls and having a blast. I visited with counselors that have been there all 5 years I have gone, and I did lots of crafts which I haven';t had time to do in a million years. I also started and finished a book which is a feat all by itself. There is something to be said about being on a schedule and having your meals prepared for you and your boys responsible for clean up. I got to know the wild life up close and personal with my late night walks to the main bathroom and the walk back. Mostly skunks and bunnies.

I am home and exhausted. Now I am resting up for my next adventure, gall bladder surgery. I have scheduled it 3 different times because the first time I did my hubby was working that night at his job that is an hour away and he would have to sleep that day. Well I wasn't thinking and he flipped. I in my ignorance said its no big deal he didn't need to be there Mom or Ian could stay with me. Tears and panic were Dave's response. After the last time he has to be there to make sure I breath. I felt bad and unthinking because i myself have been in denial of what happened after my last surgery because if i wasn't I would have never scheduled this one. So I made it on a day that my husband can be there most of the time and Ian or Mom can fill in where needed. I am just mad because I had to make it on a day that would make me miss my kids lake swim but I made a decision that the husbands peace of mind was more important of the 2 chooses.

A friend of mine who's blog I read religiously wrote about how she hates marriage. That after 16 years things suck and her wife wants a separation. It gave me pause so I asked my husband in the 17 years we have been married did he ever feel like he wanted to leave me. He said he had thought about getting an apartment near his job to get away from the children because he feels they don't respect him and he is a non person here. So I said just the kids not me right and he said yes. I explained why they treat him that way (whole other blog) not that its OK but he could work to change it, it is never to late. I love my husband and he drives me crazy but I don't think I ever have gotten to a point where I would want him to leave. I missed him more when I was at camp than my animals and children combined. I hope that my friends wife figures out what she wants and needs and realizes that marriage is hard and a lot of work but worth the fight because I know my family, kids and hubby, are worth fighting for.

I am getting really frustrated with the recovery from my last surgery. I guess if it had been just a hysterectomy I would be doing much better but add in the bladder and rectal repair and it makes it a longer road. Since I have been home i have been trying to be careful still but I haven't been very smart in that department. To much t o do that hasn;t been addressed in over a month. I am on my third bladder infection I think I have to go back t o the doctor tomorrow and go on antibiotics again grrrrrrr. I was so unrealistic when I figured on having this done. Then add on another 2 or 3 weeks for the gall bladder all I have to say is this is it for a long while and I am going to be all better and a new, happy, energized person. Good thing I have such an understanding employer and that this next chapter works out okay.

ttfn