I started crying the minute I got

up this morning. Things that

trigger the tears these days

can be the littlest thing. Maybe

I will run dry before the 23rd.

A love that only a mother can

feel is both joyous and painful.

I have tried as they grew up

to shelter them from the bad

stuff, fear mostly fueled by my

past experiences as a child.

Hopefully not crippling them

like my mother did me.

It has taken me years to

trudge through the shell

I grew up in. Getting burned

several times through out the

years but always coming out

with a thicker skin to protect

me for the next time.

I used to be open and accepting

of people putting trust sometimes

where I shouldn't have. The end

result another lesson learn and

my acceptance and trust level

raised from green to yellow.

Have I given my children the

thick skin to protect them? Is

it a good thing?

My kids try to

be friends with everybody and

not choose sides. They get burned

a lot. Middle school and High School

I think are a preparation for the big

wide world.

So as I send my oldest off to

college in just 2 weeks I will

try and not require a crow bar

to be separated from him when

we leave him at school and come

home without him.

P.S

Ian says I have ruined him of

course because I have always

said no one will love you as

much as your mother. And I

believe that is true.

ttfn