Another Senior moment soon to be in the Past!

Tonight is going to be one of those lasts again, the senior thing.
I have been doing really well this year better than last time I went through this but its only 10am and I’m already starting with the tears.

Senior Ball is this evening. She has a beautiful dress and the shoes were purchased yesterday and in a few hours she will be dressed to the nines and ready to dance the night away.

I am hoping the rush to get 2 places to take pictures and get kids to there assigned pick up points will quell some of the emotions I am feeling today but only time will tell if this will work.

Sean is going also with a good friend. He has his grandfathers tux coat and a pink shirt and will look smashing even without he 120 dollar tux.

It’s been a long tough week with little to no sleep. These events bring out the pain of not being able to provide for my family the way I would like too. Not being able to even put food on the table lately has increased the stress level to a point of explosion. Fighting is a main stay between several parties in the house.

I have been thinking in my mind of selling the farm getting rid of the animals and moving into a small house in the village it would be painful but would it be anymore so than what I am feeling now?

After the mistake with the bank last week I am so tired of living below the line. Not being able to breath for a second, worrying how and where the money is going to come from to pay the mortgage or buy groceries. I don’t want to be in charge of the money anymore but after thinking that through I have to be, even Dave admits it would be worse if he took over. So I’m stuck and obviously incapable of getting it done. Talk about between a rock and a hard place.

I checked into going back to school again and took another step farther and actually filled out the FASA to see how or if I could afford to go. That just depressed me more because it isn’t possible right now.

So for now I am putting one foot in front of the other and trying to enjoy the pleasures in my life and trying to make it work for the kids as best as I can. Tired so tired.

Stay safe, Stay warm, feel loved.

ttfn