Where is the closest bridge?

well i decided nobody ever reads this anyway so i can write what ever i want. Its a good thing my car blew up today because i would probably be out getting drunk right now. Yeah the cars radiator hose [of course the part of it you cant reach or change yourself] blew on my hubby on his way back from going down to the hardware store to get piping to fix the pellet stove one of our main sources of heat that was bellowing out smoke when he got home for his per diem job at the hospital. He was suppose to get a buy back on his vacation time he didnt use so we could maybe have something for christmas and that didnt show up in his check he got thursday and now if it does we will have to use it to fix my car and the stove. I just payed our new payment on our new ammount on our mortgage that will kill us in a few months if you cant find someway to refinace and its fucking christmas foll lalalalalalalalalala. My job sucks and is driving me insane from boredom and stupidity. My hair continues to fall out even though i shaved my head my period was two weeks late and chose today to start, i am missing my daughters first track meet and my nephews play and im cold. Tell me why its worth it? oh right there is one of the reasons sittin next to me at his fathers computer blowing out his eardrums with head phones playing his game. another is up stair sleeping and offered his paycheck to pay for my car repair. another is in the kitchen making apple crumble for everybody and the other is on a bus on her way to hobart college for her first indoor track meet racing on a varsity relay team and she is only a freshman and im not there to see it. What ever happend to things hitting in threes the past few months its been 3x12 for crap sake. my kids are my life line they are the only reason i chose to breath right now. I figure i have about 10 more years to find something else to breath for because they arent always going to be around to keep me alive.
life so totally sucks right now. so i must do what i am thank ful for list tonight to focus on something else or i will be tipping a few back by tomorrow.
ttfn