I get a hooray instead of 50 lashes with a wet noodle today. I finally took a big step and went to the doctor. Not the doctor I have been going to since I was 14. I would go and be the good patient and not complain and not talk about half the stuff that was going on because "It wasn't important". I took the recommendation of a good friend and went to a PA at a new practice near to our home. She was a person, a real person. It was refreshing to talk about problems going on and not feel like I was being brushed off and not heard. It took my boob feeling like it was falling off to push me to do it but what ever it takes I guess. Ian is proud of me and can finally stop bugging me to make an appointment. I did, I did, I did. Now I am taking steps to help my body to deal with all this stress going on in a positive way maybe.
I am going to be busy doing tests etc. over the next few weeks. I have to go for a fasting blood draw and I am going to wait till Monday so my hubby can do it for me. I love it because he is so good and doesn't hurt me, he on the other hand isn't happy lol oh well.
I also did an above and beyond for Sara tonight. She has a friend and this friends mother and I were "friends" or so I thought until she stabbed me in the back about a year ago. Now I have had little or no contact with this women for this whole time and enjoyed it. Seeing her in her car on the street or passing her at a school event was overwhelming. So Sara wants to sleep over at her friends house and I have to speak to a parent before this happens so I had to enter the spider web and speak to the evil spider. I survived amazingly. I guess I have to get use to close contact. All three of her kids are in the play and three of mine are also in it. So for the next few months It will be unavoidable.
I also did something that amazed most everybody I actually asked my brother if he had 160,000 I could borrow and I would pay him back 1000 a month for 14 years. He said he couldn't but at least I asked.
Hopefully I can start to feel better physically so I can handle this stress better and not abuse my body so badly. Time will tell for all of it. Remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Ending again with my gratitude 3 list:
1. That I was able to take care of myself final and get the medications to help me to feel better.
2. Having the courage to change.
3. Chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ttfn