Sunrise, Sunset

The drive home from work was beautiful tonight. We had one of those sunsets that had so many different colors, depths and formations to it and not just on one side of the sky it was the whole space.
Add to that Fiddler on the Roof being sung at the top of my lungs and it was a nice end to an otherwise banner day at work numbering 6000 pages of documents.

The files that I was numbering made me grateful for my healthy mostly happy children. It would be fine if I didn't stop to read some of these files but it is so damn boring I can't help myself. There are a lot of kids out their that due to just being born to certain people their lives are doomed. There are a lot of fucked up, pardon my french, adults that are making some little peoples lives awful. Some of these children have more crap happen to them in their short lives than most adults ever experience in a life time. It makes me sad. I experienced some of this in person when I worked in the cafeteria. There were certain children that just stuck out. Ones you knew that your kindness and smile was probably one of the few they saw from adults in their lives. My kids have no clue how wonderful their lives are.

I have been trying to keep a positive outlook. I have been the duck in the marriage more times than not. My good friend asked me this morning, after seeing my hair shorter again, what the hell is up with you. You don't usually let things get to you like this. What stress other than just life is there going on? My answer is yes its normal stress but it keeps smacking me in the face on a daily basis. I can handle things here and there no problem but when things hit boom boom boom and some of them big with no solution in site it kinda makes a girl tired and bald [haha]. My hubby who has lost both his vehicles in one week and just took a cold shower before work because the water heater decided this was a great time to die is the duck. The kids would have been learning new swear words if I had gone to take my nightly shower and gotten cold water. Good thing I don't mind the smell of horse. Thanks for taking the bullet for me honey. Well at least I chose going out to the barn and hanging with the horses over going to the store and buying something to make me numb for a few hours.

I am going to start to name at least 3 things I am grateful for at the end of my pages from now on if I can.
1. My wonderful Family and friends they keep me afloat.
2. Even though they are pains my children they are my reason for being.
3. being able to enjoy beautiful sunsets.

Off to bed it has been one of those 19 hour days and I am pooped.
ttfn