Day 2

ummmmm!

Is it working? I guess it helped

this morning a little. I didn't

yell and scream even when they

missed the bus. I can hear

their bus driver for the past 6 years

laughing about those O'Briens

already missing the bus. See it

was an almost daily occurrence for at

least 1 if not all children to miss the bus.

The driver is nice for the first few weeks

slows down and honks but then she

won't even stop if she doesn't see

anyone outside. The kids are

outraged, I don't blame her at all.

I was calm and even made them eggs

and toast for breakfast. The oldest

daughter it seems is stressed out

because of who knows what because

she won't say and she is sick of

her younger siblings fighting

all the time. Its only the second

day of school and she is miserable.

I told her last night that I am

trying not to freak out about the

little things and that I am trying

to get the other two to stop but

I also am under a little bit of

stress myself and I am sorry. I don't

want to say anything to belittle her

situation and piss her off even more

but by doing what she is doing she is

adding stress around here. So is she

the only one allowed to freak out

and show stress related behavior?

I don't know how to fix it and

I don't know how to answer that

question.

I hate to see her go

through another miserable year of

school but it isn't showing signs of

happening. I wish I could find her

a class that teaches how to socialize

and make friends. She has always had

a hard time doing that sometimes

resorting to behaviors to fit in that

in the long run make things even worse.

I have sent her to counseling but she only

tells the therapist what they want to hear

and they are charmed by her and nothing

changes. She needs to want the help for

anything to happen. I am trying hard

not to let past experiences control me

in the way I handle her. She is she and I

am I.

She has lost 3 of the people she

would usually share with

and I know that is hard for her.

So I will sit back and wait for her

to tell me what is up or till she

falls apart. I wish it was

different but I remember being

a teenage girl and how everything

felt like the end of the world. Hasn't

changed in 30 odd years.

ttfn